Oh, the Who-manity.

I'd like to talk to you about Christmas. Not one of your understands how much I simply love Christmas. I think something about twinkly lights is probably a massive part of it and since I've never claimed to be Christian and have never been to church unless forced by death, births or marriages I am completely to enjoying Christmas for the 'wrong' reasons.

The Wrong and Best Reasons for Loving Christmas.

1. Presents, buying presents. Anyone of my oldest friends will be able to tell you how nuts I am about buying people presents. Big, over the top, too generous, brilliant, thoughtful, ALL OF THE KINDS of presents I'm getting you one. A few examples would be me buying Nick (MY OMG BFF 4EVA) a pair of Jack Wills jogger bottoms just to annoy him or Cathy, Ellie and Daisy Chanel No.5 Soaps. I love the happiness on other's faces and the gratitude. I love being thanked. Gift giving is a wholly selfish act I'm not afraid to admit that.

2. Hot Milk & Baileys. I could write you sonnets on how much I basically adore Hot Milk & Baileys. Give me 20 minutes and I couldn't finish listing why. A big mug, a blanket and probably a 1 parts Baileys to 5 parts Milk. Whole Milk, I do not let a bottle with the word 'Skimmed' on in the house. The weirdness of not being able to get drunk from Baileys but it also warming like nothing else can.

3. Glitter. Fuck me I love glitter. On my face, on my shorts. My sequinned netball shorts are a christmas must. Baubles. The gold on top of a Charbonnel et Walker chocolate box. Tinsel. Glitter eyeshadow, in every colour. The party dresses in shop windows. FUCK SHOP WINDOWS. Libertys, Harrods, Selfridges, Harvey Nicks, John Lewis, Marks & Spencers, Zara, Topshop. The houses opposite the top of my road with lights everywhere. The fire engine that goes past my hour every year.

4. The Grinch. Love Actually. You've Got Mail. Vicar of Dibley Christmas Special. Doctor Who Christmas Special. Royal Variety Performance. The Oscars. American Christmas Specials. Mircale on 34th Street. The Elizabeth Taylor 'Jane Eyre'. The Ramola Gurai 'Emma'. Queen's Speech. The King's Speech. The Santa Clause 1, 2 & 3.

I've gotten myself too excited. I could talk to you about Cheltenham in the snow. The New Forest in the bitter frosty cold. Walking to the bus in bright sunshine and blistering ice. UGG BOOTS. My Mum buying me cashmere leggings, cashmere anything. But its all Christmas to me, all of it and its all special. It might not be a magic baby saving the world, or oil lasting for longer than people would want it to. Its definitely not an old man giving children he doesn't know presents in the middle of the night but its completely brilliant. 100% excellence.

IITTSS CHRISTMAAAAASSSSSSS.