Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Lipo-suction for the Soul.

I am going to warn you now, I'm about to get preachy.

I am sick and tired of the narrative that most media outlets convey about big women. The first time I called bullshit on the 'woman is good at something DESPITE being fat' nonsense is when I was 12 and watched 'The Cheetah Girls' a Disney made for TV film off the back of the success of the 'Thats So Raven' TV Series. I understand that this is a niche reference, but stick with me, it gets broader. The story was about a girl group made up of friends who are spotted by a record company. Now the arch is nothing special, they don't succeed but they all learn a valuable lesson BLAH BLAH but its the dynamic of the group that a 12 year old (and normal sized one at that, my junk in the trunk came later) me immediately found a distaste for. It was that basically the main character played by Raven Simone (someone who has since lost weight but also openly publicised her bi-polar disorder, swings and roundabouts) was the lead singer and somehow talented despite before bigger than the other girls. Now this wasn't a crippling obesity, I'd say she was probably a size 14, 16 at a push. She didn't have to have a motorised scooter or be crane lifted from her house to perform, she was all singing all dancing action lady. WHY SHOULDN'T SHE BE?

Skip to a few years later, 7 I think, when a young lady is storming the charts also DESPITE being of a perfectly healthy but larger than Topshop would like you to think normal. Her name was Adele. She was singing while a couple of idiot rolled around on the floor. We know what happens there, she becomes the most globally successful female solo artist since Madonna. She wears black all the time, she openly smokes, she laughs like a crackhead. I adore her and yet the world concentrate on how she is so talented WHAT A SHAME SHE'S SO FAT. She has said some things in interviews on this subject that that are far more eloquent then my ramblings two of which I think sum up my thoughts exactly. And also her's, obviously.

'I love seeing Katy Perry's boobs and bum. Love it. But that's not what my music is about. I make music for your ears, not for your eyes.'

'I make music to be a musician, not to be on the cover of Playboy.'

So when Karl Lagerfeld called her 'a little too fat' in an interview I had the same reaction as the fashion columnist for The Times had when is 'too fat for what?'. She isn't an olympic diver, an assistant at a bank's Head Quarters or the girl who has to go find Soy Milk when they run out at Fuel in Southampton. She has no need to make great haste for long amounts of time. She had an operation on her throat, of which she had to lose weight for and she did. That is a very sensible decision to make. If a Doctor told me 'we're going to cut you open but if you are too heavy you also might die' I'd also try to shed some pounds.

There are countless other instances. Like Jesi from Little Mix (X Factor, shut up) who every week was ritually pitted because she was being bullied on Twitter for being 'too fat' but was also but in some of the most unflattering series of leggings I have ever seen in my life. I still keep track of them just to see if they still have her in mid length semi-disgusting printed trousers and they do. I don't understand. All the other ones are in dresses, they put the blonde one in high waisted short shorts which for a pear shaped girl is cellulite suicide but they point blank refuse to put Jesi in a dress? WHAT THE FUCK SIMON COWELL. YOU LET CHERYL COLE SING LIVE FOR FUCK SAKE, LET THE GIRL WEAR A SKIRT.

We had recently the abject collective shock of the country that Lisa Riley is good at dancing. WHO FUCKING KNEW A GIRL FROM STAGE SCHOOL COULD FOLLOW BASIC DANCE MOVES. I'm getting too angry, I'm busting the caps lock out.

Everytime that Dawn French walks on the television screen everyone has to have a conversation on whether we think she has put on weight or lost it and how she has 'such a pretty face'. Something that in her autobiography (that you will now go read because its essentially fat girl scripture) she admits she hates. Because she right, when people tell me how pretty my face is, literally that specific 'you have such a pretty FACE' it does sound like 'its such a shame about the rest of you being so absolutely hideous'.

I think I might have tired myself out. I could mention more. Jennifer Hudson is one of them.

I wish that once a woman (or a man, I'm looking at you Greg Wallace) someone could be good at their job, have success, money and fame and it can be nothing to do with the amount they weigh. I would like it to be never mentioned in the first place. They can be as big as a house, they can be cripplingly frail I don't care. Just tell me how good they are and shut up.


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