Sunday, 10 February 2013

It is 4 hours until I have to get up for work.

This is a good time to talk to you about shape wear right?

My body has a mind of it's own. Boobs and hips all over the fucking place, you have no idea. It needs constant observation and control. I don't think that any of the devices and contraptions I use actually make me any thinner or look any thinner, but I also don't use them to look thinner. I use them to push and pull my wicked and naughty lady lumps in the semblance of a woman's body. Of course there are people that when I inform them of my extra help go all pursed face, like they've found me out. Like a crazy psychiatrist. Not that any of this is about what those people or anyone else thinks about the way I look, nor will it ever be, but I'll indulge that train of thought. I wear a lot of make up most days and yet I know people don't notice. I know people wouldn't think that I wear as much make up as I do but thats the point. I don't want to look noticeably different, I don't want to make myself look like you think I should or even how you think I think I should look. I want to look like me, but the closest I can get to a perfect me. A me that has air brushed skin and a discernible waist.

I used to have a pair of Spanx, I wore them under a pair of high waisted jeans that were freaking tiny. I loved those shorts, possibly the least sexy item of clothing anyone has ever worn. But then I discovered the brilliance and the beauty of M&S shape wear. Everyone's pants come from Marks' and none of you can deny it. Girls go through a La Senza stage when at 14 we are inexplicably trying to be sexy, but at the end of all it we are all wearing Marks & Sparks knickers. I never through that I could become so enshrined to a place that I only ever buy underwear in but their bodies and control slips are without a doubt the best waist sinters, tummy tuckers and boob pushers in the biz.


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