I have felt a lot like this lately.
I am lethargic, apathetic and quite frankly boring. I am not bored, I am beyond bored but I am sure without a shadow of a doubt that I am being boring. I am not writing, I tried to write the start of a novel (which I do about 4 times a year) but it ended up just being fucking Twilight. I have read, in the last 24 hours, Sherlock fan fiction. WHAT THE SHITTING HELL IS THIS?!
Until today, when I have lunch with my friend Jamie and realised that there is something I am still angry about, something I will always be angry about, Topshop. I despair at Topshop, it makes me feel vile and angry and without moral compass. The atmosphere and attitude of the company and it's product is insulting to it's consumers. I had a conversation with a girl today who is no more than a size 12 and probably only that after eating an entire Dominos or something and she told me that she can't get a pair of Topshop jeans 'in her size' over her knees. I have not been able to purchase or wear a pair of Topshop jeans for about 6 years and I have not walked into a Topshop and immediately found any piece of clothing in anything over a '10' in 6 months. The way they stock their shops is cleary not working, I mean for there to be that many left over size sixes they have to be over stocking. Can I tell you why? Because hardly anyone is a size 6. They try to make you believe that you are the only person ove a size 12 in the entire fucking world but you're not. I know lots of women, they are all the sizes under sun in all the shapes around the world and not one of them isn't a knock out but less than half a percent of them is a size 6. Infact, only one of them is. Thats my friend Zoe and she is fucking gorgeous but she is as beautiful as she is a statistical anomaly.
I am a Size 16 in Topshop. Dresses, tops, skirts, doesn't matter. This means in theory that I should be able to shop there. You'd think so right? Nope. Nadah. Because if I walked into the Topshop in Southampton tomorrow and immediately found a size 16 in anything there I would have a heart attack from the shock of it. I have women who work there look at me with their heads tipped to the side in pity and say they can have it ordered in for me. I DON'T WANT YOU TO ORDER IT IN I WANT YOU TO TAKE THE 7 THOUSAND SIXES ON THAT RACK AND SEW THEM INTO A SIZE THAT FITS ME. I will always be angry with Topshop, always.
The reason I will always be angry is that I also, without rhyme or reason, also am head over heels in love with Topshop. I love their clothes and their style and their cheap black shoes. I love their nail polish and their jumpers and their basic white Ts. I love that that they will make one thing n loads of colours so it doesn't matter what skin tone or type that you have, you will find something flattering. I love that they pay their models more than Burberry do and I love, in a deep unstoppable way, the clothes. I talk about ASOS a lot but what I fail to mention is that I have days where I am head to toe Topshop, underwear and all. Funnily enough they are the only high street fashion store who stock a decent 36E.
So I'm back and I'll be more annoying and post more stuff on your Facebook timeline because I'm fucking angry and you love it.