Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Collective Wisdom.

I am in all senses of the word a massive idiot. I have a really good memory that enables me to seem intelligent and sometimes even knowledgeable. Sometimes. I remember conversations I had when I was 6, entire conversations in HD for no apparent reason. So its' not a surprise that the things that I know about style and fashion are mostly remembered (stolen) ideas that I have heard on TV, read in Vogue or Elle and most notably been told by people I think are cool. I could compile a compendium of all the advice I have been given or have taken from others to create the little rules that I stick to.

The earliest that I have is Lizzie from my Dance class when I was 9. I thought she was the coolest human being I had ever met. She smoked, she went to College and she was older than me which was the ultimate in cool at that time. I hung on to every work she said and so one thing she once told me always stuck with me.

'You can wear baggy tops and tight bottoms, or baggy bottoms and tight tops. But if you wear all baggy or all tight you look fat.'

This can to me as the most wise and brilliant thing that anyone had ever said. I hadn't read The Bell Jar yet. She was and still remains to be absolutely right. If you wear form fitted or tight clothes from top to toe odds are you are not going to be flattered by them. I tried, I tried forever to test this theory when I wore tight jeans and tight T Shirts every day of being 15 and 16, it never looked good. At the other end of the scale unless you are an Olsen twin (and quite often even when you are an Olsen twin) wearing all baby clothes will make you look like a homeless person. For example this Summer just gone there was a 'Pyjama' style that if you wore the trousers it gave you a formal/fun flair that I hit hard and if you wore the tops with some jeans or a suit it was a comfy way of looking put together. However if you wore both of items YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE WEARING PYJAMAS.

Moving into the world of TV Makeover shows, that for a person who recommends changing how you look and what you wear as many times as you can, was a personal encyclopaedia of brilliance. Trinny & Susannah were my absolutely favourite, What Not To Wear was my favourite show for ages and there knowledge and glory have affected the way I dress way past my teenage years and into now. There biggest piece of advice will change your life I promise because once you hear it there is no not hearing it.

Don't wear bright colours with black, it makes the black look dull and the colour look cheap.

I KNOW. Why didn't we think of this before? Its completely right though, soft colours with black look classy and bright colours with soft colours look fun and summery. However as has been proven again and again by those teenage girls who wear one bright colour and white/black, it makes you look clashy and to be perfectly honest bright colours can real mess with your figure. If I wear anything brighter than my soft blue skirt it makes my hips look wider and wider unit they never end.

And so onto Magazines. There are endless lessons that Magazines have taught me, what height skirts need to be to make sure you don't look like you have leprechaun legs, what colours look good on what skin tones. For example my beautiful friend Hannah looks gorgeous in red, it makes her skin look luminous and porcelain and her hair look dark and glossy. Red makes me look like I have an autoimmune disease, sallow and pale and my hair looks an odd poo-y shade of brown. But by far the biggest and best advice that was instilled into me was by Vogue.

Pattern clashing always works.

I think this is a less obvious one but once you put a couple of things on and stop yourself from looking at the differences and check how positively gorgeous you look, you will see. Where stripes on floral and floral on floral. Buy dresses that clash their own prints as a start because someone who is paid to know what looks good has decided that it works and it may give you more a push to do so. I do it all the time, if you're ever not sure of something go try on one piece of clothing that optimises it and decide. Maybe except if it's in River Island because I swear nice pieces that suit everyone are the exception in that place.

I'd really appreciate it if you lot could give me any other pieces of advice that you've come up with or been given by others and I will add them to this post. Hopefully we can all come here to be jolted into realisations such as 'coloured eyeliner does only look good on other people' and 'Doc Martens are the ultimate night out shoe.'


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