Sunday, 10 March 2013

So it might snow tomorrow.

This seems like a nice context in which to explain to you why I fucking hate summer. I don't mean that I don't like sunshine, because thats what people always seem to think I mean. I love sunshine, and flowers and the beach. I do not like the heat. I have an in built duvet, my lovely lady lumps keep me toasty 24/7 and I appreciate that considering the climate of the South Coast. I have a jumper under my skin, which means that thin(ner) girls are at an immediate advantage against me and my fellow voluptuous sisters and I are doomed to sweat in the shade. I have to have a game plan for hot weather. The fashion world plans for summer 6 months before it arrives and sometimes I wonder if they do that for those of us who actually need to be strategising for warm weather.

I am red cheeked, asthma wheezing and sweating. In short, the picture of beauty itself. It the winter, I can wear what I like. Literally what I like as my jumper and Dr Martens collections are my prized possessions. But in the summer I stick to outfits over and over again because I know they work. I also have to have rules like; SLEEVES, SLEEVES AT ALL TIMES and invest in hair ties. And so to the clothes, I have just started (with help of the hope of a bonus at work) planning my summer strategy. This is not a wardrobe it is a war game. It is me against the heat wave.

ASOS Floral High Waisted Bikini, 16, £24 (top) £16 (bottom)

I've explained in earlier posts my new mission to make clothes that are essentially made for petite girls staples something that could and will look good on a bigger shape. The Bikini is one of those I've been looking into. Both ASOS and Topshop do some really lovely examples of high waisted bikinis that I think make the model ASOS have chosen to put in the number above really narrow hippped. They could at least let her put her knees together, not everything is about that gap below your crotch ladies. I really love this one as its got a dark background that is flattering to  tummy but also pretty and once I've unpicked the stitching on those hideous beads on the top, it will be the perfect summer swimming or beach combo. 

Seasalt Sandrine Tunic Dress, Lily, 16, £49.95

Tunic dresses are a fat girls saviour in the hotter months. They are flattering and basically timeless but also billowy and airing. You can wear them with thin jeans or bare legs and also tend work just as well with a cardigan in the winter. Also looser necked tops are good for anyone with bigger busts as they tend to stop any unnecessary cleavage and even out an proportion issues you may and I definitely have. This one from Seasalt is a little bit mummy but I like finding anything red that doesn't make me look like a cooked lobster. 

A good pair of small but substantial trainers can get you through a summer. I have only ever found one pair of sandals that I ever liked. I loved them. I wore them every even vaguely mild day for two years and when they broke when I was 18 something seemed to break inside of me and I will never love a strappy shoe again. I like Converse, Superga and Nike Blazers. These little numbers above I have been lusting after for a good long while, they are a perfect spring/summer colour and look airy enough while remaining easy to walk to the beach in every day. 

NARS The Multiples, South Beach, £30

I've had this item for two summers now and if you are like me and summer feels like an unnecessary hassle in the summer this will save your life. It is eyes, cheeks and lips. I don't use this on my lips but it gives the most absolute glow to your skin, with none of shine of most liquid blushes. It stays on all day and is sold in every colour under the sun. They are expensive but I haven't even used half a centimetre of mine yet. It doesn't melt and so can be kept in your hardback for any pale-mergencies. I have many as I don't tan or burn. I'm just pale with a few more freckles. 


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