Wednesday, 20 March 2013

I look awful today.

My hair is so shit today.

I need to go on a diet.

I'm fat.

I'm ugly.

I'm too short.

I'm too tall.

My hips are too wide.

My boobs are too small.

My boobs are too big.

I could go on. Literally, all of you do everyday. I have never gone a day without a woman I know, and it's always us ladies, telling me that something about her appearance today is wrong. She looks bad, ugly, fat. I'd had enough of this a while ago and have wanted to write about it for forever but today is when coherency struck me. Today I won't see anyone I'm not related to and only one of those is a woman. She is the person that taught me that what you look like in your own head is basically what you look like and its up to you to change it if you don't like it. You can blame her for my inflated self esteem, my obsession with sleep and my independence. And yet while I only see two people in person I have counted 13 different Facebook statuses and Tweets that complain about their appearance. I'm sorry but the amount of times that women insult themselves a day, they just can't mean it. Its too flippant, too apologetic. As if you'd already thought something horrible about them and they walk into the room doing damage control for the way they look. This is the most polite way I could see it because if I was more cynical I could imply that the reason these women insult themselves s for a reaction, for compliments and to that its simple.

I will not be responsible for your self esteem.

Its not my job or my place to keep your opinion or yourself afloat. If you tell someone your hair is such a mess today so they will disagree and you can feel good then THATS WHATS WRONG and it has nothing to do with your hair. Your opinion of yourself does not require outside help if its bad, it doesn't need help to be bad and if its good it doesn't need help being good. Its up to you to change how you think about yourself and the way you look. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our shit and if we just spent time trying to accept ourselves by ourselves we'd all be a lot more secure in our looks a hell of a lot faster.

Its kind of the same with homophobia, sexism, racism and any other sort of prejudice whether it being against each other or ourselves. If you just try a bit harder to be nice to and about yourself, you'll find everyone else's opinion about you doesn't matter anymore.

I'm going to leave that as the smartest thing I've ever said and being in no way naive or uneducated about the way prejudice works.



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